An icebreaker sets the tone for the rest of a group session. It also shows people how the room handles what they say. This guide describes one way to open a session with a single word on a card. You can run it with the printed Thesis deck, with the free online table, or with words you write on index cards yourself.
One note before you start. Thesis is a conversation format, and it makes no clinical claims. You know your group, its goals and its limits. You decide if, when and how to use it.
Why one word works as an opener
A word asks for nothing specific. “Gratitude” can lead to a person, a habit or a debt someone still feels. Each player picks the angle they can carry that day. The risk stays low, and the group still hears something personal.
Research on conversation supports a gentle start. In experiments by Kardas, Kumar and Epley, conversations between strangers felt less awkward and created more connectedness than the participants expected. People overestimated the awkwardness of deep conversations most of all (Kardas et al. 2021). A new group often carries the same worry. A shared word gives it a place to begin.
Setting up
- Seats. Sit in a circle so everyone can see the card. Thesis is made for 2–6 players. With a larger group, split into tables of 2–6 and bring everyone together for the last round.
- The deck. 50 double-sided cards. One side holds an idea, the other an everyday thing. Before the session, take out any card you don’t want in the room. The deck is yours to edit.
- The die. You fold it from a card into a six-sided prism and roll it like a pencil. Its faces are six plain words: MEMORIES · BODY · PEOPLE · VALUES · CHILDHOOD · FUTURE. The only instruction is “Look at the word from that side.”
- No deck yet. Open the online table. It draws, flips and rolls on a phone or a shared screen.
Agree on passing first
The rule card opens with one line: “Before you start, agree together how passing works.” In a therapy group, make that agreement explicit and say it out loud. Trauma-informed facilitation guides do the same. CTIPP’s sample community agreements include “allowing everyone the right to pass” (CTIPP).
A group might agree that a player can pass without giving a reason, turn the card to its other side, or hand the turn on and come back later. Write down what the group chose, then keep to it. A pass costs the player nothing.
Running the first round
The 16+ rules fit on one card:
- Whoever suggested the game goes first.
- Draw a card. Choose a side: the idea or the thing.
- Roll the die.
- Look at the word from that side. Say as much or as little as feels right.
- The others ask what they’re curious about, gently, without judging.
- Pass the die to the left.
In a group, you’re usually the one who suggested the game. Going first lets you model a short, ordinary answer.
The thing side is a quiet way in. A story about headphones or a fence is easier to hold than a feeling. Members who aren’t ready for an idea can start there.
Belonging sits on the back of Headphones. One person may talk about a team they joined years ago. Another may talk about wearing headphones on a crowded bus. Both answers are complete.
Follow-up questions
Step 5 is where a group learns to listen. The rule card gives three examples:
What did that feel like? Who else was there? Has it always meant that to you?
Short, open follow-ups do a lot of work. In a study by Huang and colleagues, people who asked more questions were better liked by their conversation partners, and follow-up questions explained much of that effect (Huang et al. 2017). For a group, the lesson is practical. One follow-up shows the speaker they were heard. Three in a row can feel like an interview, so watch the speaker and stop early.
The table card also says: “A short answer is a full answer. You can always ask for more.” Read it aloud in the first session.
Pacing
Thesis has no timer and no score. The rule is “Play for as long as it feels good.” In a session with a fixed length, decide in advance how much of it the game gets, and protect the end. One round, with one turn per person, is enough to open a session. Later sessions can run longer as the room settles.
Keep early turns light. Start with warmer words, and let heavier ones come in later sessions if the group wants them.
Gratitude reads differently from person to person. For some it’s a daily practice. For others it’s a pressure, or a debt owed to family. Every one of those readings belongs at the table: “Every view is welcome, especially one that differs from yours.”
Heavy cards
Some words in the 16+ deck carry more weight. Death is one of them. It’s in the deck with the pass rule, and its other side is Phone, so a player can always choose the everyday thing.
When a heavy card comes up:
- Remind the table of the pass agreement before the player answers.
- Let the player choose the side.
- Keep follow-ups to one, or none.
- If an answer opens more than an icebreaker can hold, thank the speaker and return to it through your usual process.
The rule card adds: “What is said at the table stays at the table.” Link it to the confidentiality agreement your group already uses.
Ending with the last round
Stop before the energy drops. Every game of Thesis ends the same way. “When the group is ready to stop, finish with one last round: each player names one thing they discovered about someone at the table today.”
In a group, this round turns attention toward each other. People hear what others noticed in them, and you get a clear bridge into the rest of the session.
See the full rules and the box. The three cards above have their own pages: Belonging, Gratitude and Death. For more on facilitating with the game, see Thesis for therapy groups. The research behind the deck explains where the words came from. For two players at home, see deep date night questions for couples.