Before the deck was made, we collected research on what people value, worry about, and argue over. Seven findings shaped the cards and the rules. Each one links to its source.
1. Some words never settle
Words that name something people value, such as justice, love, or freedom, produce disputes that keep going. Each side defends its own meaning (Pennanen 2021, on Gallie).
In the game: the idea side holds words of this kind, such as Freedom, Fairness, and Loyalty. The rule card says: “There are no right answers.”
2. The same word splits people
In a study of couples, trust meant open access to each other’s phones for some, and never needing to look for others (arXiv, 2024). On a UK forum, people argued whether “home” is the house you live in, your parents’ house, or your hometown (Mumsnet). Japanese and US samples described forgiveness in different terms (Joo et al., 2019).
In the game: Trust, Home, and Forgiveness are all in the deck. The table card says: “Every view is welcome, especially one that differs from yours.”
3. Ordinary objects carry stories
The Museum of Broken Relationships started with a cheap wind-up toy. Its curators say the strongest stories often attach to unremarkable possessions (New East Archive). A classic study found that favorite objects held personal memories in the US and social status in Niger (Wallendorf & Arnould, 1988).
In the game: the other side of every card is an everyday thing, such as a Key, a Mug, a Spoon, or a Bicycle. Any player can choose it instead of the idea.
4. One moment says more than a summary
Interview methods in psychology ask for one concrete moment, and get richer answers than a general summary gives (Adult Attachment Interview; RT-MeST protocol).
In the game: the die turns the word toward one side of a life, and one of its faces is MEMORIES. The example questions on the rule card point to a single moment: Who else was there?
5. Follow-up questions and depth build liking
People who ask follow-up questions are liked more (Huang et al., 2017). How personal a disclosure is predicts liking more than how long it is (Collins & Miller, 1994).
In the game: after each turn, “the others ask what they’re curious about, gently, without judging.” And: “A short answer is a full answer. You can always ask for more.”
6. Deep talk goes better than people expect
People expect a deep conversation with a stranger to be more awkward, and the other person to be less interested, than it turns out (Kardas et al., 2021).
In the game: the rules give the conversation a frame. A card, a roll, a turn, and a last round where each player names one thing they discovered about someone at the table.
7. Balance, and the right to pass
Time-perspective research pairs looking back with looking ahead (ZTPI). Guides for trauma-informed meetings recommend giving everyone the right to pass (CTIPP).
In the game: the die has MEMORIES and CHILDHOOD, and also FUTURE. The first line of the rules is: “Before you start, agree together how passing works.” Every card also has a second side to choose.
Limits
These findings shaped choices. They don’t measure what the game does for any player. Most forum material came from UK sources, and most survey data from the US.
See the box · Play a round online · See all 50 words · Who made the game