Why Forgiveness is in the deck
Forgiveness is card 40. It’s here because people mean two different acts by it.
A 2019 study by Joo and colleagues compared participants in Japan and the US. In the Japanese sample, forgiveness leaned toward a decision to repair the relationship. In the US sample, it leaned toward an inner release of feeling. One is something you do between two people. The other is something that happens inside one of them.
The same study found a difference around apology. For US participants, accepting an apology was central to forgiving. For Japanese participants, it mattered less.
Read from different places
At one table, that gap can sit between two friends, or two partners. One may think forgiving means things go back to how they were. The other may think it means letting go, whether or not anything is repaired.
If you’re asking what it means to forgive your partner, the card leaves that open. It lets both of you say what the word means to you, and hear that it might mean something else to the person across the table.
The word also reaches past couples: a parent, a sibling, a version of yourself. It sits in the Relationships cluster with Betrayal, Trust and Love.
The other side: Door
The other side is Door. It was picked for leaving, arriving, knocking and closing.
How to play this card
Draw it. Choose a side: Forgiveness or Door. Roll the die. Look at the word from that side. Say as much or as little as feels right.
From the rule card: “There are no right answers.”
Keep going
- Betrayal · card 24
- Trust · card 34
- Love · card 01
- Thesis: the game · Play online · Research