Your old group chat has people in Berlin, Lisbon and Chicago. Every few months someone writes “we should do a call,” a few people send a thumbs-up, and nothing gets booked. When a call does happen, it’s a round of updates: new job, new apartment, the kids. By the end everyone’s caught up and nobody has told a story.
This guide is a plan for one online game night with friends who live far apart. It’s free and runs in a browser, so nobody installs anything. You need a video call you already use, one shared screen with the online table, and an evening. A word written on a sticky note works too.
What you need
The setup fits on one phone or laptop per person. Four things carry the evening:
- Players. 2–6. Two friends in two cities is a full game.
- A video call. Whatever app the group already has. Voice works too, if someone reads the card aloud.
- One host screen. One person opens the online table and shares the screen. Everyone sees the same card and the same roll.
- A box, if someone has one. The host can draw from the printed deck and hold the card to the camera. The die on screen rolls for everyone.
Step 1: Pick a time that works in every city
Time zones decide the date. Write the time in each city in the invite, so nobody has to do the math. An evening in Europe can be the middle of a workday in Chicago, so a weekend may work better.
Pick a fixed length too, and put it in the invite. A clear end can make it easier to say yes. If the evening goes well, people can stay longer. A friend who has to leave at the agreed time leaves without breaking up the game.
Step 2: Send the invite to the group and to one person
A message to the whole group can be easy to ignore, since each person may wait for someone else to answer first. Send the group invite, then write to one friend directly: “Are you in for Saturday?” A direct question may be harder to leave unread.
The invite can feel like an imposition after months of silence. In a series of preregistered experiments, people underestimated how much others appreciated being reached out to. The gap was larger when the contact came as more of a surprise, and between people who were less close at the time (Liu et al. 2023). A friend you haven’t spoken to since the move fits both.
These invites follow that shape:
Game night on video, Saturday. Evening in Berlin and Lisbon, afternoon in Chicago, exact times below. We stop at a set time. It’s a word game in the browser, nothing to install.
Want to join a call with Mia and Tom on Saturday? We’re playing a card game online, with a set end time.
Step 3: Agree on order and passing
A video call has no left, so turn order needs a little setup. Use the order of the names on the host’s screen, or alphabetical order. Write it in the chat so nobody loses track.
Then agree on passing. The rules open with “Before you start, agree together how passing works.” On a call, a pass can be one word in the chat or a shake of the head. Turning the card to its other side is the second way out, and it keeps the turn going.
Step 4: Play the first round
Each turn follows the six steps from the rule card:
- Whoever suggested the game goes first.
- Draw a card. Choose a side: the idea or the thing.
- Roll the die.
- Look at the word from that side. Say as much or as little as feels right.
- The others ask what they’re curious about, gently, without judging.
- Pass the die to the left.
On a call, the host clicks for whoever’s turn it is. The player says which side they want, and the host rolls. The die has six faces: MEMORIES · BODY · PEOPLE · VALUES · CHILDHOOD · FUTURE. Look at the word from that side.
Video calls have one problem a table doesn’t: two people start talking at once, both stop, and both wait. Let the player whose turn it is speak first, with the others muted or quiet. When they’re done, the others ask. The rule card gives three examples of short, open questions:
What did that feel like? Who else was there? Has it always meant that to you?
Why a call beats the group chat
The group chat keeps people in touch with news. A call lets you hear how someone tells a story. In one study, people reconnected with an old friend by phone or by email, and in a lab study, strangers talked by video, voice or text. Voice-based contact, including phone and video, created stronger bonds than text and wasn’t more awkward. People still expected voice to feel more awkward, and the authors suggest that expectation can lead people to choose text (Kumar and Epley 2021).
That may explain why “we should call” stays in the chat. Typing can feel safer, and the call may turn out easier than it looked. A game gives the call a reason to exist beyond catching up, which makes it easier to book.
A plan for the call
The call splits into three parts:
- First, catch up. Let the updates happen, since people may want them.
- Then play. Some words take one turn, some take much longer.
- Last, the final round and the next date.
Questions for friends in other cities
If the group wants a warm-up before the first card, pick one word from the deck and use it in these. They’re sorted from light to deeper:
- Where in your new city does this word show up?
- What’s an object in your apartment that reminds you of it?
- When did you last notice it on a normal weekday?
- What did it mean to you in the city where we met?
- Who taught you what it means?
- Has your view of it changed since you moved?
- What would you miss about it if you moved again?
- What would you like it to mean in five years?
Pick two or three for one evening.
Three cards for friends who moved away
Each of these cards reads in its own way for a group spread across cities.
Home has Spoon on its other side. For friends who moved, the idea side has at least two answers: where they live now, and where they grew up. Hearing which one each person picks is a conversation in itself. The spoon side goes to kitchens: a dish someone cooks to feel at home, or one they can’t find in their new country.
Independence has Mug on its other side. For someone who moved alone to another city, the idea side can bring up first weeks, first bills and first friends. The mug side is lighter: the cup someone is holding on the call right now, and where it came from.
Beauty has Suitcase on its other side. The suitcase side fits a group that has packed a lot: what went into the first suitcase, and what got left behind. On the idea side, each person can say what they find beautiful in their new place, which gives the others a picture of a city they haven’t seen.
End with the last round and a date
Close the way every game of Thesis ends: “When the group is ready to stop, finish with one last round: each player names one thing they discovered about someone at the table today.” On a call, the table is the screen. It still works.
Before anyone hangs up, set the next date. Put it in the chat with the time in every city, while everyone’s still there to answer.
What to do today
Open the group chat and write one invite with a date, a time in each city and a length. Then send one direct message to the friend who answers least. See the rules and the box, or try the online table on your own first. The cards above have their own pages: Home, Independence and Beauty. For more on playing with a group, see Thesis for friends. For the studies behind the deck, see the research. If the friend is someone you haven’t written to in years, start with how to reconnect with an old friend. For friends in the same city, see how to host a game night.